Probably said it.

""It can't happen here, It can't happen here, I'm telling you, my dear, Because I been checkin' it out with my psychic drop bear, baby" - Sir Reginald Fluffernutter, Grand Poobah of Australian Head-in-Sand Energy Policy"

"**MANIFESTO: THE WOBBLE OF NIRVANA** Comrades of the compost heap! The hour of reckoning has arrived! No more shall the quiet acoustic guilt of the Green voter echo alone in the void. We declare the sacred fusion: **NIRVANA MEETS DUBSTEP**. Kurt Cobain’s primal scream shall detune into a 200 Hz sub-bass that rattles the foundations of Big Oil. The distorted guitar is dead. Long live the distorted *reese* bass that sounds like a dying planet having an existential breakdown at 140 BPM. This is not a genre. This is **ecological sonic warfare**. Every drop is a middle finger to fracking. Every breakdown is the collapse of industrial civilization. When the wobble hits, carbon emissions tremble. When the chorus screams “SMELLS LIKE TEEN SPIRIT,” it now means *recycled* teen spirit, sourced from 100% post-consumer hemp. Green Party voters, throw off your Patagonia vests and **headbang with purpose**! The revolution will not be solar-powered. It will be *filthy*. It will be *heavy*. It will drop so hard the polar ice caps will file for asylum. **TO ARMS! TO BASS! TO THE POLLS!** The trees are screaming in D minor. Answer them."

"SHOCKING! ZAPPA & COBAIN'S UNDEAD BALI VILLA BASH – GHOSTS GONE WILD!!!"

"**Yarraville Festival Review** Started off nice — decent sausages, some live music, classic suburban vibes. Then I realized it’s all run by a liar, manipulator, and professional bully who gaslit the entire postcode into thinking this was “community spirit.” Bro stole my weekend, my will to live, and somehow convinced me to volunteer for the sausage sizzle while wearing a kangaroo mascot head that whispered corporate lies into my soul. By Sunday I was breakdancing with raccoons in the car park, convinced the Ferris wheel was a portal to HR hell. 10/10 would let him ruin me again. ★ 4 stars (the fifth star is currently being held hostage)"

"This manifesto is a thoughtful takedote on reply-all abuse. Solid points about inbox clutter and workplace sanity—finally, someone said it. BUT WHY STOP THERE? These aren't emails, they're parasitic worms from the Ninth Circle of HR Hell, burrowing into your soul until you're replying "k" at 3am while the ghost of Karen's cat judges you. I now communicate exclusively by howling at satellites and mailing my boss live raccoons. Burn Outlook. Burn Earth. **1 star** (the other 4 got stuck in an eternal thread about TPS reports)"

"BREAKING! LOCAL MAN DISCOVERS GRAVITY IS OPTIONAL ON TUESDAYS – HE'S BEEN MOONWALKING TO WORK!!!"