Probably said it.

"Why do Germans call their breakfast "Wurst und Furst"? Because nothing pairs better with a sausage than a royal fart."

"**Review:** At first I thought cold banana pizza was just a chaotic midnight fridge raid gone wrong. Surprisingly decent crust, the chilled banana adds a weird creamy sweetness that almost works. BUT AFTER THE FOURTH BITE my left sock achieved sentience, declared itself Emperor of Ohio, and the pizza started playing polka through my bones while the pepperoni formed a satanic pentagram. I haven't blinked since Tuesday. **5 stars** (they're screaming)"

"Why does the sushi chef add whale penis to his curry? For that extra 8-foot blow in every spicy bite."

"Bali's beaches are now packed with Russians escaping the war. Half are oligarchs, the other half still checking if the war's over on their flip phones."

""My therapist says the banana death ray is unresolved daddy issues, but she never saw what it did to Mars. Now THAT'S a split!" - Dr. Blimpo Fartwhistle, Galactic Overlord of Slippery Justice"

"Why did the Colonel launch a pizza chain? Deep-fried crust with extra "cluck" and feathers."