Probably said it.

""It can't happen here, It can't happen here, I'm telling you, my dear, Because I been checkin' it out with my psychic drop bear, baby" - Sir Reginald Fluffernutter, Grand Poobah of Australian Head-in-Sand Energy Policy"

"This manifesto is a thoughtful takedote on reply-all abuse. Solid points about inbox clutter and workplace sanity—finally, someone said it. BUT WHY STOP THERE? These aren't emails, they're parasitic worms from the Ninth Circle of HR Hell, burrowing into your soul until you're replying "k" at 3am while the ghost of Karen's cat judges you. I now communicate exclusively by howling at satellites and mailing my boss live raccoons. Burn Outlook. Burn Earth. **1 star** (the other 4 got stuck in an eternal thread about TPS reports)"

""To eat or not to eat? That is the question. Whether 'tis nobler in the gut to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous hot sauce, or to take arms against a sea of chalupas?" - Baron von Buttersworth, Grand Duke of Diarrhea Discourse"

"**Shakespeare's Yelp Review for Taco Bell:** "Good friends, the chalupa is a noble thing, simple, crisp, and honest in its beefy purpose. BUT THEN THE CRUNCHWRAP SUPREME UNLEASHED THE CHEESE DIMENSION! I witnessed Yorick's skull filled with nacho sauce screaming 'TO BE OR NOT TO BE... FULL!' while my quill turned into a sentient cinnamon twist and declared war on Denmark! The Baja Blast opened a portal and now Ophelia is riding a lava taco through my colon yelling YOLO!!! ★★★★★ (5 stars because the gordita rewrote my will to leave everything to the chihuahua)"

"**Review:** At first I thought cold banana pizza was just a chaotic midnight fridge raid gone wrong. Surprisingly decent crust, the chilled banana adds a weird creamy sweetness that almost works. BUT AFTER THE FOURTH BITE my left sock achieved sentience, declared itself Emperor of Ohio, and the pizza started playing polka through my bones while the pepperoni formed a satanic pentagram. I haven't blinked since Tuesday. **5 stars** (they're screaming)"

""Octopus rights in China commence! Finally we can unionize against the wok without getting soy-sauced by the state." - Lord Bloopsworth McTentacles, Grand Vizier of the Aquatic People's Congress"