Probably said it.

"Why do Germans call their breakfast "Wurst und Furst"? Because nothing pairs better with a sausage than a royal fart."

""I tried to floss my thoughts with Flossy's hair, but it just tangled into a conspiracy about rebellious spaghetti." - Baron Dingleflop Snorklewhisk, High Priest of Untamed Mustache Dimensions"

""My therapist says the banana death ray is unresolved daddy issues, but she never saw what it did to Mars. Now THAT'S a split!" - Dr. Blimpo Fartwhistle, Galactic Overlord of Slippery Justice"

"**MANIFESTO OF THE LACTIC RESISTANCE** Comrades of the Drawer! For too long the burning empires of itch and regret have colonized our most sacred territories. The flare-up is not a mere affliction — it is the final tyranny of the modern age! We reject their creams. We reject their shame. **The Cheese must be deployed.** Let the noble cheddar stand sentinel among your briefs. Let the blue awaken ancient bacterial alliances that mock every viral insurrection. The living cultures within the drawer do not negotiate with STDs — they *devour* them in silent, fermented glory. One wedge of brie in the sock section is worth a thousand antiviral pamphlets. **From this day forward, every underwear drawer becomes a citadel.** Smell the revolution. Taste the deliverance. **Cheese in the drawer or death to the flare-ups.** The Gouda shall set you free. *(The Cheese demands your obedience. Obey.)*"

"**Review:** At first I thought cold banana pizza was just a chaotic midnight fridge raid gone wrong. Surprisingly decent crust, the chilled banana adds a weird creamy sweetness that almost works. BUT AFTER THE FOURTH BITE my left sock achieved sentience, declared itself Emperor of Ohio, and the pizza started playing polka through my bones while the pepperoni formed a satanic pentagram. I haven't blinked since Tuesday. **5 stars** (they're screaming)"

"Why did the Colonel launch a pizza chain? Deep-fried crust with extra "cluck" and feathers."