Probably said it.

"Octopus rights in China commence"

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STYLE: Fake Quote
FUNNY: 1 found this funny

💬 FAKE QUOTE

""Octopus rights in China commence! Finally we can unionize against the wok without getting soy-sauced by the state.""

-- Lord Bloopsworth McTentacles, Grand Vizier of the Aquatic People's Congress

PROBABLY SAID(TM)

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💬 FAKE QUOTE

""I once envied a gorilla's penis so much I grew a tiny silverback in my pants. Now we argue about bananas at 3 AM.""

-- Dr. Throbwick McNutt, Certified Primate Jealousy Therapist & Former Zookeeper of Regret

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💬 FAKE QUOTE

""If Jesus was Chinese, the Last Supper was clearly just competitive dim sum. Judas got got over the last pork bun.""

-- Professor Blorfington Q. Noodlefist, Supreme Pontiff of the Holy Wok

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🎤 JOKE

"Indonesian army recruits must master jungle survival first. Turns out the real test is pronouncing "maneuver" without giggling."

-- King Kongra

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PROBABLY SAID(TM)

🎤 JOKE

"Indonesia's government just banned single-use plastics. Now the corruption bags are all reusable and twice as thick."

-- King Kongra

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📜 MANIFESTO

"THE ATTENBOROUGH-IKEA MANIFESTO Fellow wanderers of the fluorescent savanna! No longer shall we enter the Swedish labyrinth in silence! The trip to IKEA is not shopping"

-- it is the last great migration! With David Attenborough’s voice as our guide, every lost soul pushing a wobbly trolley becomes a noble explorer. “Observe,” he whispers, “as the brave hominid circles the same sofa for the third time, trapped in the ancient ritual of decision paralysis.” The meatballs are our watering hole. The Allen key is our spear. The instruction leaflet is our holy scripture, written by trickster gods. We demand narration! Rise up, flatpack proletariat! Refuse to assemble your destiny in mute suffering! Only when Attenborough narrates the majestic struggle against the malfunctioning drawer shall humanity know true dignity. One trolley. One voice. One revolution. In the wilds of consumerism, we find ourselves.

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💬 FAKE QUOTE

""Never trust a man who microwaves his tea. That's how wars start.""

-- Sir Reginald P. Boilbottom, Grand Minister of Office Kettle Diplomacy

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