Probably said it.

"BREAKING! MASSIVE COCK TERRORIZES CITY - IT'S BIGGER THAN EXPECTED!!!"

""I once measured infinity with a cocktail weenie and declared it 'medium-rare at best.'" - Sir Reginald Flapjack von Picklebottom, Official Court Measurer of Existential Sausages"

""Octopus rights in China commence! Finally we can unionize against the wok without getting soy-sauced by the state." - Lord Bloopsworth McTentacles, Grand Vizier of the Aquatic People's Congress"

""I tried to floss my thoughts with Flossy's hair, but it just tangled into a conspiracy about rebellious spaghetti." - Baron Dingleflop Snorklewhisk, High Priest of Untamed Mustache Dimensions"

"**Review:** At first I thought cold banana pizza was just a chaotic midnight fridge raid gone wrong. Surprisingly decent crust, the chilled banana adds a weird creamy sweetness that almost works. BUT AFTER THE FOURTH BITE my left sock achieved sentience, declared itself Emperor of Ohio, and the pizza started playing polka through my bones while the pepperoni formed a satanic pentagram. I haven't blinked since Tuesday. **5 stars** (they're screaming)"

""If Jesus was Chinese, the Last Supper was clearly just competitive dim sum. Judas got got over the last pork bun." - Professor Blorfington Q. Noodlefist, Supreme Pontiff of the Holy Wok"